Weight Lost, Hope Gained…by Emily

Sharing the Hope found after WLS!

Worrying is like a rocking chair… November 29, 2010

Filed under: Inspiration — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 10:54 AM

From the amazing book “Calm my Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow comes the quote “Worrying is like rocking a chair, –it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” This is so true and I must admit that somedays I believe it and find comfort in it and somedays I am curled up in that chair in the fetal position just rocking away hoping to get somewhere by doing so.

I stop and think about the things I worry about and truth be told most it never comes to pass. “Will we make it to Mom’s ok without a blow out?”, “Will I get through a social gathering where there are some people that are not on the same page as me in the way we think about certain things?”, “Will I ever make it to my desitination on time?”–you get the picture. How much of our lives do we miss because we’re agonizing over what might happen down the road? I know that the things I listed are futile and small but worrying is worrying period. I know that we must be prepared for the things to come but we shouldn’t always *expect* it for our lives. We should be armed with knowledge and positive coping mechanisms *if* such things should arise instead of worrying and *waiting-for-such-things-to-happen* our lives away. Worrying and pondering the “what if’s” of our future doesn’t solve any impending problems. It only paralyzes your actions of the present. It stresses you out, makes you mentally and physically tired, and saps all the fun out of what could have been another great day. Next time you start to worry about what might happen, think of this: You can prepare, but you cannot predict. So do what you can and forget what you cannot. Life is too short to worry about the what if’s!

XOXO,

Emily

 

Oh, the many things I am Thankful for… November 25, 2010

Filed under: My Story....ever changing! — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 5:09 PM

I wrote this in a note on Facebook in March of this year and found it fitting for today as the many things I am thankful for! I hope you enjoy it!

Just wanted to share my heart with you all.

I thank God each day for making me fat. I thank God everyday for making me 270 pounds, with joint problems, acid reflux, shortness of breath when I walked to the end of the drive way to get my mail, and high blood pressure. I thank God everyday for my snoring at night that led to restless leg syndrome…that led to anxiety and depression….and a HANDFUL of pills that had to be popped everyday of my life just to keep going. I thank God everyday for my low self-esteem that plagued my life for most of my life. I thank God for the fact that I couldn’t sit like a lady because my legs wouldn’t cross over one another. I thank God for the fact that I could barely reach my butt to wipe (my arms are only so long). I thank God for every stretch mark on my thighs and stomach due to being fat.

You are probably wondering why I would thank God for all of that?? Well I can tell you why. If it wasn’t for ALL the things mentioned above I wouldn’t have had surgery, I wouldn’t have you all, and I wouldn’t have this blog. I wouldn’t have been able to be blessed beyond measure DAILY by your friendships. I wouldn’t have made the decision to have surgery. I wouldn’t have been able to truly learn who I am as a person. I wouldn’t have learned how to truly live life to the fullest with the BEST friends anyone could ever have. I wouldn’t have learned what it truly means to Live and NOT just exist. Each and every one of you have taught me something new about myself that I never knew before. Some of you have held my hand through tears and lent me a shoulder to cry on. Some of you have talked me off the ledge when I want to eat my kitchen (yes I struggle with that too). Some of you have been there for me for my life outside of my Bariatric life. You all have inspired me to be a better person. I truly thank God everyday for ALL the ugly that I have been through because I have you all and the new friendships I am forming everyday. I am a perfect of example of the fact that we may not understand God’s reasoning for things in our lives but if we be still and know that He is worthy and able to do great things in our lives we WILL BE BLESSED BEYOND WORDS just as I have been! I love you all from the bottom of my heart!

I hope everybody has had a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends.

In HIS Grip,

Emily

 

Investments… November 21, 2010

Filed under: Inspiration — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 4:18 PM

I was just going through my mail and stumbled across this from Spark People and wanted to share it here. It is so true when it comes to us and how we encourage others and in turn we grow ourselves.

“People usually talk of “spending” energy and time on others as if once it’s used, it’s gone. In reality, that effort is a powerful investment because you’ll get more in return. When a match lights a candle, the match’s flame doesn’t shrink–if anything, it grows. In the same way, you’ll be even more inspired and successful by building others up. The bonus is that they’ll also be better equipped to return the favor. Take action today to make someone’s life a little better. Come up with just one nice thing to do for each of the important people in your life, one little thing that can make all the difference. After all, what good does it do to improve your health or your life if you’re not going to do anything with it?”

Those of you that know me know that it is my Hearts desire to help others grow and succeed just as I have and still am. I am too inspired by you all and your stories to be tired and weary, you all are what keeps me going AND GROWing.

This blog is short, sweet, and to the point. Just wanted to share.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
– Aesop, Greek author of fables

XOXO,

Emily

 

CONstructive vs. DEstructive November 18, 2010

Filed under: Motivation — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 10:32 PM

As I logged on to Facebook this morning I saw this posted as the Status update for Bariatric Eating: “When you look in the mirror what do you see first – the weight you have lost, or the distance you have left to travel?” I will post my response in a little while. I was one of the first to respond but have checked back through out the day to see people responses and some of them prompted my heart to become heavy for some of those in the WLS community.

I know that we as obese people have had and still have problems with depression, low self-esteem, and self- worth because the disease literally sucks the life and all of our being out of us so these self images are all we have known BUT there is HOPE in life after WLS and we need to find that and find it quick so we can get on living the lives we have been given. Here is my response to the question: “Weight Lost. Distance left to travel DOES NOT define me! Plus, when are we *done* traveling? I am not just talking about weight I’m also talking about what’s on the inside of us as well, when we look in the mirror we should see so much more than outward appearance and always strive towards—going the distance—this is a way of life and we are constantly in the race, there is no finish line! Happy Thursday everybody!”

I am not saying I believe in myself and my self-worth 100% or I wouldn’t have this blog although some days are better than others, the good days tend to come around more often lately….I could get used to this ;-). I am not saying that my life is AMAZING everyday because I am still human and stumble. BUT what I am saying is that when we start believing in the *why* we had surgery—not just because of our physical health issues but our mental health as well—then we will find that others believe OUR *why* as well. In other words when we believe in ourselves THAT is when others will believe in us and I don’t know about you but I want my family and YOU all to believe in me…I mean come on, you all are an extremely important part of my life!…not to mention the happiness and joy we find in ourselves. I have to say that I have learned and am still learning so much about myself that I would have never known with having this surgery.

So friends lets start being more CONstructive in our criticism of ourselves. Let’s stand in front of our mirror’s and others and be proud of all that we have accomplished and learned on our journey’s no matter how long or short they are. If you are having a bad day and find you are beating yourself up, each negative thing you say or think of yourself needs to be coupled with a positive thing. I do this and when I have to stop and think of something positive that I had hidden by all the negative I’m like WOW!…OK!….I’m liking this….and come on we all know that positive thoughts make us happy and encourage us, it is then that we will start believing in our *why’s*.

So, let’s really focus on telling the DEstructive self to hit the road, we don’t have time to entertain those thoughts because they just are not worthy of our time–plain and simple. They are selfish and debilitating to our spirits and have no business clouding our judgement. Please be proud of yourself and your journey, you have accomplished so much just in having surgery! Please remember that your story is YOUR story, NOT anyone elses. It is so detrimental to our spirits when we try to compare ourselves to one another (and yes I have been guilty of doing just that) and compare successes. Success is SUCCESS no matter how big or small and we need to embrace it all the same!

Ok my friends let’s work on kickin’ DEstructive criticism to the curb, and start cuddlin up with some CONstructive criticism for our own overall well-being! 😉

Finish Well,

Emily

 

Just an EXTRAordinary Girl…. November 16, 2010

Filed under: Motivation,My Story....ever changing! — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 10:16 PM

Good ‘ol Webster’s definition of Extraordinary ~ going beyond what is usual, regular, or customary.

When I think of my life since WLS I think this is a good word to describe it. I mean NOTHING about this life is usual, regular, or customary! But wait…I am getting ahead of myself and need to back up and give you background into my decision to become an EXTRAordinary girl.

In my Adolescence I never really struggled with my weight, it did not become an issue until I got pregnant with my Daughter Mekayla and “Blossomed” into a person I didn’t know. I packed on 70 pounds during the pregnancy and it stuck to me like glue from there on out. In fact it invited some friends along to come and hang out too! That was one of the happiest times in my life and also one of the saddest as well. Here I was a Mother at 20 yrs. old and forced to grow up QUICKLY….gosh how I wished she would have come with an instruction packet!…and also rejected at the same time and found myself to be a 20 yr old SINGLE Mother! This along with other things in my life sent me spiraling out of control and finding comfort in food. I have to say that looking back on that chapter in my life, it was very short lived because when Mekayla was 2 yrs old this Angel came into our lives….His name is Edwin and Daddy. He came into my mess of a life and cleaned it up without a second thought. He saw me for who I was on the inside NOT the outward apperance that everybody stared at all the time with their noses turned up! We got married when Mekayla was 5 yrs. old and I was almost at my heaviest. I continued to pack on the pounds but this time it was different….It was because I was happy and had someone that loved me for me (and the dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts I would pound EVERY weekend!) We were married for a year and then started trying to have another child…well there wasn’t much trying we got it on the 2nd try ;-)…so with my son Mario’s pregnancy came MORE weight on top of the “baby weight” from my *Baby* that was now 7 yrs. old. Now we have offically entered the time I got to be the HEAVIEST I ever was, weighing in at a whopping 270 pounds.

Several years went by…along with ALOT of pictures with me BEHIND the camera….that I continued existing and not living. I developed High Blood Pressure, was Pre Diabetic, Depression/Anxiety, Restless Leg Syndrome from lack of sleep, Obstructed Sleep Apnea, Acid Reflux, and Joint and Back Pain…**obviously all of these Co-Morbidities did not just fall into my lap all at once, they started in my 20’s, it seemed I would get a new one every year for my Birthday!** I was taking a handfull of pills a day just to stay “vertical”. I *knew* that if I didn’t do something about my weight I was literally going to die at the grasp of one of my Co-Morbidities and/or obesity. However with all of this said, I was not in the right mindset to succeed at having WLS. I continued to sabatoge my self esteem and health with a very UNhealthy bond with food.

I had to be ready mentally to take on WLS and I wasn’t until I had a “wake up call” from my Husband one day. He looked at me genuinely concerned for me and my health and said “If you don’t do something about your weight, I feel that I am going to be raising our kids on my own.”…..WOW….THAT slapped me across the face real hard and WOKE ME UP! Right then I realized that I was being selfish and not giving my family the wife and mother they so much deserved. THAT is when I made the choice to go to a WLS Seminar at the Hospital (the very same one that I speak at once a month with my surgeon….funny how that happens when you are COMMITTED to doing the right thing) in August of 2008 and started my Pre Op process in September 2008 and had surgery January 2009….I HAVEN’T LOOKED BACK SINCE THAT DAY!!!

In future blogs I will talk about the WHAT’S AND HOW’S I have been successful with my tool…I have to save something for later….I have to keep telling myself that because I tend to be long winded can’t cha tell 😉

This is my story in a TINY nutshell. More will be revealed in the future. Thanks so much for walkin’ this road with me. We will skip and dance sometimes, sometimes we will have to hurdle pot holes, and sometimes we may fall in those pot holes but we will always have each other to lend a hand to. I thank you so much for your friendship and for believing in me when at times I struggle with believing in myself….I’ll get into that later too!….OK! enough already I am giving away all my future stuff! Before I go I want to leave some “Food for Thought” that I live by and helps me through my journey and I hope you can find comfort in it too.

“Remember that WLS is merely a tool. It works however YOU use it.”

“Obesity is a disease that each one of has. HOWEVER YOU can chose to feed that disease or chose to take your life and health back from the disease.”

“What I thought was Freedom with food was actually bondage…..THIS is Freedom!”

Well this concludes my very FIRST post, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Finish Well,

Emily