This post will be short and sweet. To the point. I have spent all day at the hospital with my Dad. He is a heart patient and has had a rough go since September but things are looking up for him, and me! 😉 As I sit in the Family Waiting room very anxiously awaiting news that Dad has sailed through another surgery I noticed how the vending machine is *perfectly* placed. It is right under the flat screen T.V. with Fox News on. They make sure that it is always in peripheral vision. Now, don’t get me wrong I do not have anything against vending machine but I know myself, they are a recipe for disaster. If you give me a good choice with mixed nuts etc., I cannot get over the fact that 2 rows up sits……D-O-R-I-T-O-S and with those there, I bluntly admit it, that the mixed nuts WILL stay *right* where they are and the little spiral will turn to let my Doritos drop down. Just sayin’, I know myself well. To make the taunting by the position of the vending machine worse, I was stressed. I eat or crave crunchy things when I am stressed.
This is were therapy and a good support system comes into play. I came so close to caving into the craving and getting a bag of chips. It did not matter that I had plenty of good choices in my bag, I was fixated on those Doritos and really had myself convinced that they would *do the trick*. Boy, was I ever wrong!! I immediately started using the tools I have learned from therapy. I started by realizing *what* made me feel like I need those chips…..STRESS from my Dad being in surgery. I realized that the stress was bringing on anxiety and that was causing me to want to self medicate the only I knew how to for most of my life. FOOD.
I sprung into motion, I knew I had to counter what was very well going to become a disaster. It was going to be a disaster to my emotions, after I ate them I would feel guilty. It was going to become a disaster to my pouch, they are empty void calories and make me feel sluggish and blahh. It was going to become a disaster because I was about to let the Doritos beast out of the cage that I had worked to hard to suppress all this time. There is NO way that could be possible or allowed. So while I was working through the emotions on my own I reached out to my WLS Peeps and did a status update on Facebook. Their responses were overwhelming me with support! I am so blessed by the WLS community and those close to me.
I’m proud to say that I did NOT give into that vending machine, instead I gave into the encouragement of my peers. The high I felt after that was incomparable to that sucky 30 second high from Doritos’! WHAT a liberating feeling it was!! I’m so proud of myself and the growth that is taking place within me. Thank goodness for good therapist, good friends, and good ‘ol positive self talk.
Dad came out of surgery well and is resting. I came out of a potentially hazardous situation on top and feeling great!! I was and still am IN CONTROL of this thang! 😉