Weight Lost, Hope Gained…by Emily

Sharing the Hope found after WLS!

Am I Normal? Really? April 10, 2011

Filed under: Inspiration,Motivation,My Story....ever changing! — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 9:22 PM

Wow! I can’t believe I am about to officially be a mother to a 13 yr. old, Cheerleader and Volleyball player! My Baby Girl is growing up, I swear just the other day I was changing her diapers! So with all the sports that are headed our way next school year, we had to go to the Dr. the other day and get the physical done. NOT her favorite part but I *gently* reminded her (in the midst of the dramatic ramblings of a tween GIRL) that it had to be done if she wanted to cheer or play volleyball, it was up to her. She quickly digressed and in came the Dr.

Mekayla is tall and super slender for her age…all legs (just like me at the ripe ol age of 12) and is a bottomless pit when it comes to food. She can put. it. away. Looking back, I could too and had nothing to worry about! It scares me for her because she is my daughter and I don’t want a repeat of my life where she is Dr. Matin’s patient one day just like her Momma was. So I am trying to nip a “repeat” in the bud and really encourage alot of physical activity NOW. She is super excited about next year, so am I, I hope she has a blast with everything and I will feel good knowing that she is MOVING and staying active all the while growing up WAY to fast!!!!

Gave ya a little background now I am going to get to the meat of this post. They called us back and got all of her vitals and recorded them on that chart that says what percentile for her age she is in. She is in the 50% percentile for her weight (perfect) and 50-75% for her height, meaning she is taller than she is heavy. The Dr. looked at her and said “Mekayla, I know that your friends at school are all shapes and sizes, but I am here to tell you that you are exactly where you need to be. You are spot on normal on this chart here. Don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise.” (not that Mekayla has had that problem, she hasn’t, she was just reassuring her before it even happens. I hope it never does.) I know that this made Mekayla happy and me too as her Mom for getting such a good report on my Baby Girl. Then the Dr. said something that really jogged my mind, she went on to say…”You are built just like your Mother here, and since that is the case I don’t see you ever having a problem with your weight since it hasn’t been a problem for her.” Really?!?! This made me confused for a minute because she has no idea where I have come from or what my journey is, she has no idea of the struggles I face daily. I was not angry with her just confused and thought I needed to clarify her image of me right then and there. I felt like I needed to explain myself to her and “clear the air”, she obviously needed to be corrected in her assumption of me.

Then it hit me….No, she didn’t. She didn’t need to be corrected, she was clearly stating what she saw. All my life I have felt as if I had to explain myself, but really they were excuses most of the time. I didn’t need to “justify” her comment with the “truth” of what I have been through. The TRUTH is I had surgery to be normal, I am now, so that is JUSTIFICATION in, and of itself! I don’t need to tell everybody that I come in contact with that I have had surgery, trust me I have been known the tell the check out person at Target…true story. I was given a tool that has helped me, I have worked hard to get where I am at, my hard work and dedication to being healthy as a whole has paid off for me. It’s about time that I give myself some recognition too, not just my tool, having said that I will never forget or denounce what has helped me get here. It has been so hard to wrap my little brain around that word “normal” being associated with ME. At times I pinch myself, but I am so glad that I am finally coming to grips with the reality that I have tried so hard to NOT believe about myself.

To go a bit further, not only did I not say anything to the Dr. about her assumption of me. It felt good inside to know that I was normal from the outside, beautiful on the inside, and I held a nugget of information to my self that would have blown her out. of. the. water. It wasn’t about me and my journey for a moment. It was about all the hard work that got me to being normal again. It was about others seeing me as I want to be seen. When I had surgery, I just wanted to lose my weight, be healthy, and not be stared at in disgust when people looked at me. For once, I can say, I am there.

I don’t want this post to come off as shallow or sounding like what others think of me is what defines me because that can’t be farther from the truth. I know who I am, what I am, and who I am becoming. I don’t know where I am going on my journey but I am headed in the right direction, a good direction. The purpose of this post was to finally be able to say that I am comfortable and pleased with what others have to say about me AND with what I see in the mirror looking back at me. It feels good, real good.

Finish Well,

Emi