Weight Lost, Hope Gained…by Emily

Sharing the Hope found after WLS!

How bad do you want this? July 20, 2011

Filed under: Inspiration — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 9:35 PM

So I just got done responding to a comment my Aunt made on a status update over at Facebook and I felt it heavy on my heart to share it here as well. As I wrote to her I felt so empowered. You see, as you read my post to her in minute this is all stuff that I have struggled with alot lately. I have felt powerless over some stuff. There has been so much up and down in my life as of late, I have had some road blocks try to fall in my way, but as I wrote my response to her I felt some bondage to the “messy stuff” break off, I felt in control again. Here it is….

“Aunt Vickie, thanks for your kind words about my “discipline”. I am hear to tell you that it’s not always easy but I will tell you that on those days I can’t find the “willpower” to do the right thing, or when I allow bad habits to creep back up, or when I allow my food addiction to drive while I’m in the back seat, I ask myself….”How bad do you want this?” I have to really evaluate things. Is my “willpower” really lacking? No, I am lacking my “willpower”, it’s there, it’s up to me to use it. Are my bad habits creeping back up going to get me to where I want to go? No, but they will take me back to where I have been and that wasn’t living. Is allowing my food addiction to drive my car with me in the back seat a positive move for me both mentally and physically? No, but it is destructive in nature, sucks the life out of me, and allows me to place blame..shame..and guilt on myself.

Once again, that is the way I lived my life day in and day out until almost 3 years ago when I said enough is enough. I am done with this. So I challenge you to ask yourself the same question…”How bad do you want this?” How bad do you want to be healthy? How bad do you want to feel in control of your life instead of food controlling you? How bad do you want to lock up that food addiction in the trunk of YOUR car and say “You’re not driving this car, you’re not even allowed to sit in the back seat. The only place for you is in the trunk LOCKED UP!” Remember only YOU can make YOUR difference. I can’t do it for you, you have to want it bad enough but I sure have faith in you that YOU CAN DO IT!”

So there you have it. Here lately I haven’t been asking myself “How bad do you want this?” I have let some bad habits creep back up and so has the scale. I have allowed my food addiction to drive MY car here lately but as of RIGHT NOW I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am DONE. I am and always will be a work in progress, I won’t reach the finish line until I am standing at the gates of Heaven. I CAN make a difference in my life and the life of others here and now. Once again, this a part of getting back to the basics of ME. I am posting this not only to hopefully inspire and empower someone else who is struggling right now but for accountability as well. I vow to continue to do my best (flaws and all) for me, my health (mental and physical), and all of you.

Thank you so much for reading. I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT, WE CAN DO IT! Let’s give ourselves all of what we got so we can be all of what we want to be!

Do better to be better!

Finish Well,

Emi

 

Back to the Basics…..ME July 9, 2011

Filed under: Inspiration — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 12:21 PM

Oh how I have missed my blog! So much going on and so little time! Let’s see from working full-time and then coming home and “working full-time” on the Mom front some things have fallen by the way side. Yes my priorities in life are my kids, family, then work but they also need to be about ME…just a little…so I can be who I need to be for those that matter to me most.

I haven’t really written since Mekayla was getting out of school for the summer. I thought we would have a quiet summer after the first couple of weeks but we haven’t. She has had the best summer this year I think any kid could ask for. She went to Washington D.C. with my mom the first weekend school was out. She came on Friday and we left the following day for our San Diego family Vacation–which by the way was FABULOUS–more on that in a minute. She has been home for 2 weeks and will be leaving for my Mom’s house in Oklahoma tomorrow for Vacation Bible school for the week. She will come back and be home for 2 weeks and then leave again for Chicago with my Mother in Law! Wheeewww! Makes me tired just typing all of that! Oh, and then she gets home just in time for Cheer Camp the second weekend in August. The child has lived out of a suitcase this summer and LOVED. EVERY. MINUTE. OF. IT. I’m just thankful she got all of these opportunities.

Mario has been busy doing a Kindergarten Readiness Program at his school as he will start Kindergarten in the fall (I just had him yesterday, ya know?;-)) It has been great for him because he has spent so much time with my Mother in Law growing up, the interaction and getting ready for the classroom is really going benefit him. He will be on his to my my Mom’s for Vacation Bible school too and is so excited. Myself and the Hubby are excited for some quiet time as well! 😉

Edwin and I have been hard at work day in and day out. That hasn’t changed. But somethings DID change, the fact that I was putting myself on the back burner these past couple of months. I started reaching for convenience and instead of planning when it came to meals. I started slacking on my excercise. I started avoiding the scale because I wanted to avoid what I knew was happening. I could feel it in my clothes. Some “bounce back” after surgery is normal and I have had NONE in almost 3 years but now it is starting. I’m still well within my window of what I consider my “goal”. In saying that, I will not let it define me, it’s a number on the scale. Period. What WILL define me is my choices and actions, some of those MUST change. They say it takes 2 weeks to break a habit and to some extent I agree with that but there are some habits that rule of thumb does not exist under. Like the habit of settling with less sometimes. We all did it as obese patients and it is hard to not do it now because I still have the same messy brain as I did obese. I have to gently remind myself that I am worth more than I am giving myself now.

I have had to really take a step back and rate things and my quality of life and when I did I realized it has been about Quantity, NOT Quality. I must move away from this. I must practice what I preach when supporting others. I must make myself a PRIORITY. I am sharing some struggles here because of several reason. 1) It is hard to read as I type the truth 2) I am seeking out accountability by making it public 3) And for a plan of action to get back on track. I have way to hard these past 3 years to let anything less than what I deserve enter back into my life.

I will get back to basics. I will get back in tune with my tool. I will get back in the gym. I will get back to blogging and journaling. I will get back to happiness becasue I deserve it. I will get back to making ME a priority.

More to come, I have alot to catch up on here….

XOXO, Em

 

The *Smaller* we get, the *Bigger* we grow. What? July 3, 2011

Filed under: Inspiration,Motivation — Weight Lost Hope Gained @ 4:03 PM

**I wrote this last month for the website Bariatric Surgery Source. I contribute to them monthly, and just wanted to share on my blog as well. I hope it has some meaning and purpose in your life just as it has mine!**

I remember waking up after surgery determined to NEVER be associated with the word(s) BIG, BIGGER, or BIGGEST ever again. I’m sure you can relate.

Since I lived most of the my life as the BIGGEST person I knew. I was sure I was going to change that, but boy was I WRONG.

WHAT?!? Emily, you have lost 140 pounds and maintained that loss successfully and you are saying that you are BIGGER now then you were before surgery? YES! I am! Let me explain…

I was always sitting around and waiting for life to happen and that only guaranteed me one thing… that I was NOT going to end up with a life I wanted or loved. I sat around and ate, and ate, and ate to the point of ballooning to 270 pounds physically and shrinking to NOTHING inside.

By waiting, I could only react to what life tossed my way and nothing more. The way I did that was to eat and live in denial that I had a problem with food or coming to terms with any of the number of health problems mounted against me.

It’s easy to take a passive approach to life without making chances and I had ZERO drive to ever take a chance. As we all know, taking CHANCES = GROWTH! It’s easy to fall into a rut and do the same things the same way all the time.

That was me, always stagnant never pushing myself or my boundaries. Always eating the same junk and planning my next feast (not meal, FEAST) before I was done with the one I was inhaling. Change and growth are sometimes hard and need A LOT of work, but it’s change that will show all the wonders that life has to offer as you start to GROW.

You can break out of your set ways by taking action, I did by having surgery.

Try doing the same thing a different way. When you go to the store, park far away so you have to walk. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Jump in with both feet and learn something new. I have learned how to Zumba and want to learn Belly Dancing. I have learned how to Blog, a place where I can share my feelings about weight loss surgery. I have learned how to network and market myself and my new company through social media outlets.

Ask a friend to teach you a skill they’re good at. Is it photography? Is it painting? I have leaned on some of my good friends in the Bariatric Community for support and accountability as well as Techy skills so I can HELP in the community more.

GROW as a person and your world/life GROWS with you.

Action is the only way anything ever gets done. GROWTH happens because YOU take CHANCES! WHATCHA WAITIN FOR, GET OUT THERE AND START LIVING!

“When you stand still, you reject the struggle, and you refuse to change and grow. Ultimately, you reject fulfillment, happiness, the dance for joy and everything else that is eternally good.” ~ Matthew Kelly

Finish Well,

Emily Gomez