So I just got done responding to a comment my Aunt made on a status update over at Facebook and I felt it heavy on my heart to share it here as well. As I wrote to her I felt so empowered. You see, as you read my post to her in minute this is all stuff that I have struggled with alot lately. I have felt powerless over some stuff. There has been so much up and down in my life as of late, I have had some road blocks try to fall in my way, but as I wrote my response to her I felt some bondage to the “messy stuff” break off, I felt in control again. Here it is….
“Aunt Vickie, thanks for your kind words about my “discipline”. I am hear to tell you that it’s not always easy but I will tell you that on those days I can’t find the “willpower” to do the right thing, or when I allow bad habits to creep back up, or when I allow my food addiction to drive while I’m in the back seat, I ask myself….”How bad do you want this?” I have to really evaluate things. Is my “willpower” really lacking? No, I am lacking my “willpower”, it’s there, it’s up to me to use it. Are my bad habits creeping back up going to get me to where I want to go? No, but they will take me back to where I have been and that wasn’t living. Is allowing my food addiction to drive my car with me in the back seat a positive move for me both mentally and physically? No, but it is destructive in nature, sucks the life out of me, and allows me to place blame..shame..and guilt on myself.
Once again, that is the way I lived my life day in and day out until almost 3 years ago when I said enough is enough. I am done with this. So I challenge you to ask yourself the same question…”How bad do you want this?” How bad do you want to be healthy? How bad do you want to feel in control of your life instead of food controlling you? How bad do you want to lock up that food addiction in the trunk of YOUR car and say “You’re not driving this car, you’re not even allowed to sit in the back seat. The only place for you is in the trunk LOCKED UP!” Remember only YOU can make YOUR difference. I can’t do it for you, you have to want it bad enough but I sure have faith in you that YOU CAN DO IT!”
So there you have it. Here lately I haven’t been asking myself “How bad do you want this?” I have let some bad habits creep back up and so has the scale. I have allowed my food addiction to drive MY car here lately but as of RIGHT NOW I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am DONE. I am and always will be a work in progress, I won’t reach the finish line until I am standing at the gates of Heaven. I CAN make a difference in my life and the life of others here and now. Once again, this a part of getting back to the basics of ME. I am posting this not only to hopefully inspire and empower someone else who is struggling right now but for accountability as well. I vow to continue to do my best (flaws and all) for me, my health (mental and physical), and all of you.
Thank you so much for reading. I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT, WE CAN DO IT! Let’s give ourselves all of what we got so we can be all of what we want to be!
Do better to be better!